I got commended today for having the tools to help my kid through a bit of anxiety about going to school (he’s almost 5, and some days kindergarten is too much for him), but I felt like saying that he (and his brother) deserved praise for making me find those tools.
I grew up thinking that my level of worry was completely normal, and that I was somehow keeping danger at bay by worrying. These ideas weren’t reinforced by my parents or anything, they just existed and somehow got woven into my concept of ‘the way things are.’
My anxiousness wasn’t debilitating, and it didn’t center around any one thing. It was just there and I dealt with it.
Then I started seeing my kids exhibiting some of my coping behaviours (e.g. avoiding competition, overcompensating, withdrawing from heated discussions, stressing about learning new things) and I realized it was time to find some tools for myself, and, to find some tools for them so we could all have easier lives.
I’ll be discussing a lot of those tools on this blog, so I won’t get into them now. I just thought it was worth noting that one of the things that causes me the most anxiety – trying to parent effectively – is the very thing that is helping me to learn to reduce my anxiousness.
Reason eight million and twelve I am glad to be a parent.
