You can’t focus, and you feel like lying on the couch, balancing a bowl of cheezies on your chest and watching reruns of Friends until your eyes burst and you have an excuse not to get anything done.

Now, while that is indeed one strategy to cope with being overwhelmed, you won’t actually feel much better at the end (although the middle part will feel okay, at least until the eyes bursting part).   If you would prefer to feel a little better when you are done, why not try something like this:

Pick three categories of stuff you need to do.

Pick one small task from each category.

Write them down.

Do one small task.

Cross it off.

Do the second small task.

Cross it off.

Do the third small task.

Cross it off.

Call it a day*

There, then you will have accomplished SOMETHING today, and you will feel at least a little better.

Here’s my list from a rough day a few weeks ago:

House:  Wipe stovetop.

Writing: 5 minutes brainstorming for article.

Kids: Read two books with the boys.**

I was fully prepared to call it a day after I completed those things, and when you have been stuck, that’s perfectly legitimate, but on that particular day my three tasks gave me momentum, and I was able to get about 30 minutes of writing, and some unpleasant housework out of the way, and created enough brainspace to play some games with my sons.  The purpose of the exercise is not to ‘trick’ yourself into doing more, but if that happens, all the better.

Good luck.

*Whenever anyone I know suggests that it’s time to call it a day, one of us invariably says ‘Okay, it’s a day!’  and makes the rest of us smile.  Try it, see if it works for you.

**In case I need to state the obvious,  care and feeding of my family is part of my autopilot,  so the ‘Kids’ category of my to do list is for fun extras not for the basics.

It happens, even to the best, most patient parents.  Children are not particularly reasonable creatures, what with the natural (and appropriate!) self-centredness they sport a lot of the time.  And sooner or later, things will reach a breaking point.  A kid will throw a tantrum, a parent will bark an order and then suddenly the day is cascading down like that pile of stuff you were hoping would balance for just one blessed minute on the edge of the table.

I have a trick that I do in that sort of circumstance, and it might help you too. 

Being a chatty sort of “let’s learn by example and explanation” parent, I’ll say, out loud, ‘Wow, things are getting crazy here, aren’t they?  Let’s stop before we all get too mad.”   Then, I wil crouch down to their level, give them a hug *and say, “let’s take a few deep breaths and loosen up a bit.”

That’s just the  my intro and something else might work better for you but here’s the important part:

Then we all stand up, and breathe in as we raise our arms over our heads.  Then we drop our arms down (sometimes with a boneless sort of wiggle) and while we breathe out we say a long silly-sounding word. My favourite is “hippopotamus”  but “rhinocerus” has good results too (if things are desperate and toilet humour isn’t big no-no at your place, you can even try saying poooooooop).

If you do this three times in a row, it gives everyone a chance to calm down and shakes the tension right out of the room.  And it gives you back the measure of control (in a sensible, non-control-freak way) that you need to make it through the next little while without losing it.

See, like I’ve said already, three deep breaths – makes almost everything feel better.

Now, I’m not trying to come across as some sort of Madonna-like, peace-perfect parent here.  I don’t manage this EVERY time, but every time I can do this it always helps.

*If you are so mad that you can’t bear to be touched, please know that that is okay.  You can feel however you feel, it’s your actions that have the impact, so if you need to move away to calm down before trying this, please do.  There’s enough parenting guilt out there, I’m not trying to create more.